SAHM

The first time I learn this 4 letters, I thought it was some letters of angry words. It turns out to be as –Stayed At Home Mother, hehehe! Suits me very well- Hanie the SAHM   ;p

Yes, since I got married and with all-the-so-hard-to-believe-and-accept news happening to the children in Malaysia today, I had promised myself that I must do everything in my power (hehehe!) and of course with Allah’s will, to be a SAHM by the age of 30 years old. Sounds pathetic? Nah, listen to my followed arguments and then we draw our own conclusion, ok?

                                               

Why at 30 years old?

1)   I graduated in 2007, got married in 2010. So the savings that I had for that 3 years were all used up for the wedding day, hehehe! So, I have to continue working for at least until 30 years old to fork up money for down payment of future house, to stabilize the laundry (and to operate another laundry, hopefully, iAllah) and to get pregnant, of course, hahaha! Or else the objective of becoming a SAHM will be useless, hehehe!

2)   I think by 30 years old I will start grumbling of when I can stop working office hour, seriously. Asked Hazeman how many times I had talked to him into quitting the current job because I want to have flexible time (no other reason but to have more flexibility). So, 4 years in ISN, another 4 years in the new place, so I think that should be enough

3)   If Allah permits me to be pregnant this year (amiiiiiinnnnnn), by the age of 30 years old, my future kid (s) would be around two years old. At the age of two years old, they will start to grow so fast so I do not wish to miss any important moment with them. (Do you know that at the age of 1 year and 5 months, Kakak and Iddin can count 1 to 10 (bilingual- Malay and English) whenever we climbed the stairs and whenever they saw the Touch n Go post?) 

4)   Hopefully Hazeman is done with his post grad study, hehehe!

Why SAHM?

1)   When I was growing up, Ibu had basically being around me all the time because she is a teacher. She was my class teacher since I was in Standard 4. And when I was in SAB, she was still very much with me. She works in the morning, so she has the afternoon to night time with us, fetched me from SAB, sent me to tuition classes, to swimming classes in Sri Inai and UIA(when I was in UPM, hehehe!). We even got to spend a lot of time together during school holidays because she is not working during school holidays. Her figures were very vivid during my brought up. So, Ibu was not a SAHM, but she is a teacher and she got plenty of time with her children. I want to have those times with mine too.

2)   Since Hazeman came back from Kuching, I had only managed to cook for him one time. He has never complained about that because he knows we are both working couples and addition to that we are running our laundry daily. Back in Kuching, we always have time to go to Pasar Satok and cooked together, a luxury time which we don’t have now. But, I don’t think my future children will appreciate that. They will not understand that I don’t have time to serve decent meals on the table. All they know is other mothers might be cooking for their children, then why aren’t theirs? I am not Ayah, who can cooked 5 different dishes during weekends and freeze and heat them when we want to eat them for lunch and dinner for weekdays. Not only they tasted as good as fresh cooked dishes, it is even healthier because he will trim the fatty part on the top before he heated them. Brilliant isn’t he?  Ayah even got time to wake up early, preparing us milk carrot juice as a breakfast before we left for school. Such a super dad, kan?

3)   More time with Hazeman, hehehe! I need a lot of this. Even after 2 years of marriage, I still feel that I need more `our’ times. I know people will say “Ish, mengada-ngadanya nak berkepit dengan suami je”, but, but, syurga isteri di bawah tapak kaki suami,kan? It doesn’t mean I want to be with him 24/7, no, but at least, when he’s home, I am home too and dish is properly serve on the table, his clothes are all ironed, we can have our jogging time on weekends,  etc. Best kan? 

4)   Have you read about all the crazy news in the newspaper? From baby tercekik susu, to baby kena culik by maids, to standard two kids do something `funny’ to their classmates, to everything that we have never imagined or think of happening to them such a as Standard 6 girl sneak out from school whenever her mother sent her to the gate to follow an 18 years old boy or a group of boys were talking something with related to sexual attitude and upload the video on You Tube etc etc.  If you are a daughter to a mother who is a teacher, you would hear this sort of story most of everyday.  May Allah bless us all. I am not saying that all of these happened due to their mothers are not taking care of them. But, MAYBE, we are still lack of the necessary ilmu that we ought to have with regards to the up bring of a different zaman of children. Saidina Umar al-Khattab (RA) had once said “Didiklah anakmu mengikut zamannya”. Thus, we have to always have our ilmu to raise our kids updated throughout the time. The approach we do to our 3 years old daughter shall not be the same to our 13 years old daughter, kan? I sometimes wonder, do we have re-new our marriage certificate every n-th years just like we re-new our driving license? So that whenever we go to re-new it, we have to go for classes with related to rising up our children for betterment. And I know some of my SAHM friends; they always have time for this stuff. They go for many classes to facilitate themselves to be a better parent. One of my friends had actually set up a special corner for her 2 years old kid for his home school learning activity. Owh, I am so jealous -ing!  She is actually her child’s first teacher!

Numbers and newspaper reports are too much too handle. I believe best education comes from home

5)  Last but not lease, I would like to have more proper time for myself. When I send my kids to kelas mengaji, maybe I can go for own kelas mengaji too. When I send them to their horseback riding class, I can go for some kelas agama or tazkirah after Dhuha at the surau in my housing area, or anything with related to the ibadat for the day after. I realized now, at the time moment, I got too consumed with my daily activity (read: urusan duniawi), my urusan akhirat has not be taken into proper place. I don’t know when Allah will discontinue my life, but I really want to improve myself as a Muslimah and be prepared to face Him later.

There you go, the reason why I want to be a SAHM. Today's SAHMs are way better educated and confident group of people since Allah had given us the greater opportunities . Thus, let’s use it to produce better children for the future and for the Ummah, insyaAllah...

Hanie Adzman

p/s- Kakak and Iddin are going to their first toddler class this Saturday at the Tumble Tots, yay! I wonder if Kakak can use a new pair of jean since the class will include more physical training. I hope they will enjoy it as I am so excited for it!

Yup, defenietely it's about time for us to send her to school..=)

Islamic banking ilmu - updated

Owh, I am so exicited to have this post on! Tapi I was so tired, I postponed it for many times.

Anyway, last Sunday, I participated in the` Kursus Perancangan Kewangan Islam’ organized by Al-Naqiy at the Security Commission in Bukit Kiara. There were nearly 300 participants and the hall was packed!

The first story told by Dr Zaharuddin really captured my attention.

Suatu masa dahulu, pada zaman Nabi Muhammad SAW., ada seorang anak yatim yang ingin membuat pagar di sekeliling rumahnya. Malangnya, sebatang pokok tamar jirannya telah termasuk ke kawasan rumahnya. Jadi, dia pun berjumpa dengan jirannya untuk berunding cara tentang pokok tamar tersebut. Semua cadangan yang anak yatim itu berikan kpd jirannya, walaupun dia ingin membelinya, satu pun tidak dipersetujui jiran tersebut. 

Anak yatim itu pergi berjumpa Rasulullah untuk meminta bantuan Baginda. Baginda pun pergi ke rumah jiran tersebut dan berunding bagi pihak anak yatim tersebut. Jiran tersebut masih berkeras dengan pendiriannya. Dan Baginda Nabi memberikan tawaran terakhir, “Sekiranya kamu bersetuju utk membantu anak yatim ini, akan ada sepohon tamar di dalam syurga nanti buatmu yang sangat besar. Teramatlah besar sehingga bayang-bayang pohon tersebut mengambil masa 1000 tahun utk sesiapa berjalan di bawahnya, dari mula ke akhir bayang-bayang tersebut”. Jiran itu masih menjawab-tidak.

Terdengarlah tawaran ini oleh seorang daripada sahabat Nabi dan dia bertanya sekiranya tawaran pohon tamar di syurga itu terbuka kepada sesiapa yang mampu membantu anak yatim tersebut. Dan baginda menjawab, “Ya”.

Sahabat Nabi ini pun berjumpa dengan jiran anak yatim tersebut. Beliau menawarkan kebun tamarnya di Madinah yang sangat besar dan sangat bermutu, yang tamarnya sangat terkenal di seluruh Negara Arab. Dan jiran itu bersetuju. Dan sahabat itu menyerahkan pohon tamar tadi kepada anak yatim tersebut.

Maka, sahabat itu berjumpa dengan Nabi dan bertanyakan sama ada dia telah pun berjaya utk mendapatkan tamar di dalam syurga itu? Dan Nabi menjawab “Tidak. Kerana kau berhak mendapat lebih daripada itu”.

Sahabat itu terlalu gembira dan dengan segera pulang ke Madinah untuk menyuruh isteri dan anak-anaknya keluar dari kebun tersebut. Dia menceritakan apa yang telah terjadi kepada dan isterinya dan subhanallah isterinya sedikit pun tidak membantah malah isterinya sungguh gembira dengan perkhabaran tersebut.

Hebat betul iman sahabat ini,kan? =) Kadang-kadang kita terlalu leka sampai terlupa `perkiraan’ di akhirat nanti jauh lebih penting daripada segala-galanya.

The morning session was presented by none other than Dr Zaharuddin, the Senior Lecturer in IIUM. I have always had his blog as my reference whenever I have inquiries and doubts with my financial decision. He talked about riba’, gharar and judi. His talk was very interesting as he is very good in giving relevant analogies. There are many situations in our daily lives which came under these three points.

“Aku pinjamkan kau RM 100, jgn lupa bila pulangkan, bagi extra RM 10,ok?”

“Ni haa, ada bawa kek coklat, masak tadi. Nnt pulangkan bekasnya,ok? Tp jgn lupa la isi-isi something”

“Ok2, boleh je pinjam kereta aku, tp jgn lupa, minyak kasi isi full la, tau?”

Sounds familiar? Those are the exact examples that Dr Zaharuddin gave to us as an example of riba. It does not necessarily money, but it also involves other benefits.

We are exposed to these three elements during our financial transaction. From housing loan, personal loan, car loan, credit cards, charge cards, insurance etc. Banyak kan? That does not include the competitions or games that we participated. If we are paying for registration fees, and the fees are being included as part of the winning price, that is actually judi.

Move on to gold trading. Do you know that one of the syarat sah for gold trading is it has to be a physique gold and the transaction must be on the same day – cash on delivery (COD)? It means you can’t purposely delay the delivering of the gold to buyers or vice versa. Kalau tak, memang tak sah transaction tu.

Next is Islamic banking. Do you know there are actually more non-Muslims who applied for Islamic housing loans compared to the Muslim? Funny isn’t it? Despite the fact that BFR can’t go beyond 10% and BLR can go more than that, late charge is only 1% and a portion of the money goes to charity, no compounding issue, yet the Muslims in Malaysia are still reluctant to go for Islamic housing loan. Because once upon a time, Islamic banking is always way more `mahal’ compared to the conventional banks. But Alhamdulillah, it has improved so much that we as Muslims should be supporting it by subscribing to the Islamic banking.

There were so many questions being asked by the participants from what is the hukum for ASB, KWSP etc. Any mind you, there are many khilaf over certain issue. For example, Fatwa Kebangsaan said ASB is harus. But the Syariah Commission said haram. Both parties have their own arguments and both parties have their own opinions. Fatwa Kebangsaan said harus basically due to the interest of majority Muslims who had invest into ASB and the fact that nearly 70% of PNB investment is to the Maybank (a conventional bank), it’s like for kepentingan of a big group of Muslims. Syariah Commission stands on haram because of the percentage of investment are to a conventional; non-syariah bank is more than 5%. Plus now that we have alternative to invest to Amanah Saham Hartanah, which is a syariah compliance fund. Owh, too much info I presume, hehehe! But bear with me since this `so difficult to understand issues’ are very relevant to our path in the hereafter day.

With Forex, the hukum is clearly haram. I won’t be able to elaborate more, since I do not understand the system.

With MLM, the hukum is harus buuuuuuuuuuuttttttt, again, the company which listed as syariah compliance by the Security Commission (SC) does not necessarily means that they are syariah compliance company. Let me walk you through this. Company XYZ, is a MLM company, classified by SC as syariah compliance. But SC has no power to classify the SYSTEM that XYZ is using for the MLM business purpose. SC is only listing XYZ as syariah compliance for the purpose for investor’s guideline. To really qualify the SYSTEM used by XYZ is not gharar, XYZ has to appoint their own panel syariah, which has been done by other Islamic bank who appointed their own panel syariah to go through every single transactions are halal. This is one if the pre-requisite required by JAKIM in their guideline. Complicated isn’t it? That is why one day course is not enough.

                                             

1.00pm, we had our lunch and solat Zuhur then we proceed to the afternoon session by Dr Aznan. If Dr Zaharudin gave us info on something which relevant to our normal daily transaction, Dr Aznan focus more on wealth management. He started with wealth generation (our salary, income), to wealth accumulation (buying properties, unit trust, shares etc), to wealth protection (insurance), to wealth purification (zakat, sedekah etc) and finally wealth management (will). And in every step of this wealth procedure, it is our own obligation to be very details on the source and transactions. That is why ilmu become so important.

Dr Aznan starts off with the roles and responsibility of SC and panel syariah in every Islamic company in Malaysia. He had such an enormous amount of knowledge in this area that I find my reading throughout my living years are vain, hehehe! He talked about the mass market that we can invest in and there are many opportunities that we can have to multiply our wealth. So deep he went, that I highlighted some of his slide so that I will go back and have a depth reading on that matter.

                                

After Asar, we moved to insurance and takaful. Indeed it is a fatwa by all panel syariah around the world insist that insurance is haram. Taking the benefits of the insurance is haram. Some khilaf said that we can only take the premium (which we paid over the years), and the rest is to be given to the needy people, or zakat etc. It is rather interesting the reason behind why insurance as in conventional insurance is haram. We are paying the monthly payment for our life insurance value of RM xxxxx. Siti paid RM 250, and Aminah pay RM 250 too. But, Siti died 4 months after she started her policy and her family gets her insurance money while Aminah after 40 years, she still alive. This is where the gharar lies. Gharar simply means uncertainty. We are uncertain on the time we’re dead and we are uncertain where do our insurance company invest the money that we paid them monthly. The same goes to our car insurance. We paid an amount of premium yearly, if we get into an accident, the insurance company would have to cover us, whereas if not, we didn’t get any part of the premium. So, this is gharar. And, it is so clear, kan?

I got to make a move 15 min. before the seminar ended since Kakak and Iddin has arrived to fetch me there (with Hazeman, of course! ;p). But on and on, the seminar was worth of paying and attend to. I love it so much because Islamic financial is not something to be taken lighly, since we are talking about money and transaction. It has so much effect on our later life (our akhirat remember?) Seriuosly, so much of updates and enlightment of unclear issues and matters and now is the hardest part; to do what I have learn. I have to:

1) Refinance (do we call it as refinance? hehehe!) my car loan from conventional AmBank, to Islamic AmBank

2) Car insurance (I just renew them last month..=(), but nevermind, I just asked them if I can transfer or re-do and pay it to takaful car insurance

3) Cancel my RHB conventional credit card

Big changes start with small steps. So, here to Islamic banking! =)

p/s- Can't wait for the Being Me Conference which happen on the 30th June! ;D Who's going?

On the best me..

Something happened last week. I do not wish to brag the details but it knocked right into my head that; Question: have I been the best wife to my husband?

The idea of getting married is so much fun. You know, living with a man that I have entirely being in love with, plan the future ahead, from where do we settle down and what will be our first baby’s name.

Married, and life started. Real one. Problems start knocking on the door. From, how long are we going to live long distant to when are we going to have our own kids. Misunderstanding arises, and we start having different opinions to every matter.

(Yes, we start to forget our birth date, anniversary, no more surprise and presents)

Those who have children start to think about time constrain, financial shortage, where do we put our kids while we’re at work?

At time, we start to think if we have more money, then we shall have fewer problems. You know, we can have a maid at home; we can buy the easiest water bottle dispenser, that sort of thing.

Nope, with current salary, those seem impossible. We find part time/ side income job, we started to consume time that we should be spending with the families (read: husband).  We don’t cook, and we started to eat outside (until at time we don’t even know what and where to eat)

We face these, I face this too. Life is not perfect. We work to find solution to every problem.

Too consumed in finding solution, we forgot that the foundation to a marriage is a HUSBAND and a WIFE.

If one of these elements are not in the `picture’, then how do we proceed with what we had planned before? (You know our first boy’s name, which house are we buying)

Then we started wondering, have I been the best for him? After all these years, do I wear cloth that he likes to see me in? Do I wear enough make up to please him? I do cook, but does he really like it? Do I obey to every word he says?

I used to read one story back in Rasulullah SAW time, where there was a wife who didn’t visit his father’s body during his funeral because her husband told him not to ever leave the house as long as he went to a war; even though the whole family talked to her to come and visit but she insisted to stand by her husband’s order. So, his father was buried without her got to see him for the last time. And Alhamdulillah, one night, his father came into her dream and said that he is happy in the heaven because as Allah had grant him into the Heaven for he had taught her to be an obedient wife to a man. MasyaAllah.

Another story back into the time, a wife had just received news that her son had passed away. She was very sad for the boy is her favorite child. For her husband is not in the country, she took care of her son’s funeral. And when her husband came back, she didn’t mention anything about the son. She cook for her husband, entertain him and pleased him to his need. Not until her husband asked her, where is their son, then only she told him that their son had passed away. How could she hold her tears in front of her husband for she is grieving for her son’s death despite the fact that she was very very sad for her lost? MasyaAllah.

My Ibu, is the best role model a wife I can have. Ayah always says that Ibu will easily be granted to heaven for she is a best wife anyone could have. She is very obedient, she puts ayah in her top priority list, even Hazeman always says, follow ibu footsteps, she has portrays a perfect role as a wife and a mother. I learn to be redha to everything that happen in my life through ibu. It is very hard to hear ibu grumble over a matter, for she will always say, dah usaha,kan? Jadi redha je,ok? (Redha is a five letter word yang paling susah utk dibuat, seriously!)

After what happen last week, I started to do some check and balance within myself as a wife. I might do some drastic changes in order to make Hazeman feels that he is very important to me; that no one else is more important than he is, to me. If ibu can do it, why can’t I? I came from her genes, anyway, hehehe!