Monday, June 18, 2012


The first time I learn this 4 letters, I thought it was some letters of angry words. It turns out to be as –Stayed At Home Mother, hehehe! Suits me very well- Hanie the SAHM   ;p

Yes, since I got married and with all-the-so-hard-to-believe-and-accept news happening to the children in Malaysia today, I had promised myself that I must do everything in my power (hehehe!) and of course with Allah’s will, to be a SAHM by the age of 30 years old. Sounds pathetic? Nah, listen to my followed arguments and then we draw our own conclusion, ok?

Why at 30 years old?
1)   I graduated in 2007, got married in 2010. So the savings that I had for that 3 years were all used up for the wedding day, hehehe! So, I have to continue working for at least until 30 years old to fork up money for down payment of future house, to stabilize the laundry (and to operate another laundry, hopefully, iAllah) and to get pregnant, of course, hahaha! Or else the objective of becoming a SAHM will be useless, hehehe!
2)   I think by 30 years old I will start grumbling of when I can stop working office hour, seriously. Asked Hazeman how many times I had talked to him into quitting the current job because I want to have flexible time (no other reason but to have more flexibility). So, 4 years in ISN, another 4 years in the new place, so I think that should be enough
3)   If Allah permits me to be pregnant this year (amiiiiiinnnnnn), by the age of 30 years old, my future kid (s) would be around two years old. At the age of two years old, they will start to grow so fast so I do not wish to miss any important moment with them. (Do you know that at the age of 1 year and 5 months, Kakak and Iddin can count 1 to 10 (bilingual- Malay and English) whenever we climbed the stairs and whenever they saw the Touch n Go post?) 
4)   Hopefully Hazeman is done with his post grad study, hehehe!

1)   When I was growing up, Ibu had basically being around me all the time because she is a teacher. She was my class teacher since I was in Standard 4. And when I was in SAB, she was still very much with me. She works in the morning, so she has the afternoon to night time with us, fetched me from SAB, sent me to tuition classes, to swimming classes in Sri Inai and UIA(when I was in UPM, hehehe!). We even got to spend a lot of time together during school holidays because she is not working during school holidays. Her figures were very vivid during my brought up. So, Ibu was not a SAHM, but she is a teacher and she got plenty of time with her children. I want to have those times with mine too.
2)   Since Hazeman came back from Kuching, I had only managed to cook for him one time. He has never complained about that because he knows we are both working couples and addition to that we are running our laundry daily. Back in Kuching, we always have time to go to Pasar Satok and cooked together, a luxury time which we don’t have now. But, I don’t think my future children will appreciate that. They will not understand that I don’t have time to serve decent meals on the table. All they know is other mothers might be cooking for their children, then why aren’t theirs? I am not Ayah, who can cooked 5 different dishes during weekends and freeze and heat them when we want to eat them for lunch and dinner for weekdays. Not only they tasted as good as fresh cooked dishes, it is even healthier because he will trim the fatty part on the top before he heated them. Brilliant isn’t he?  Ayah even got time to wake up early, preparing us milk carrot juice as a breakfast before we left for school. Such a super dad, kan?
3)   More time with Hazeman, hehehe! I need a lot of this. Even after 2 years of marriage, I still feel that I need more `our’ times. I know people will say “Ish, mengada-ngadanya nak berkepit dengan suami je”, but, but, syurga isteri di bawah tapak kaki suami,kan? It doesn’t mean I want to be with him 24/7, no, but at least, when he’s home, I am home too and dish is properly serve on the table, his clothes are all ironed, we can have our jogging time on weekends,  etc. Best kan? 
4)   Have you read about all the crazy news in the newspaper? From baby tercekik susu, to baby kena culik by maids, to standard two kids do something `funny’ to their classmates, to everything that we have never imagined or think of happening to them such a as Standard 6 girl sneak out from school whenever her mother sent her to the gate to follow an 18 years old boy or a group of boys were talking something with related to sexual attitude and upload the video on You Tube etc etc.  If you are a daughter to a mother who is a teacher, you would hear this sort of story most of everyday.  May Allah bless us all. I am not saying that all of these happened due to their mothers are not taking care of them. But, MAYBE, we are still lack of the necessary ilmu that we ought to have with regards to the up bring of a different zaman of children. Saidina Umar al-Khattab (RA) had once said “Didiklah anakmu mengikut zamannya”. Thus, we have to always have our ilmu to raise our kids updated throughout the time. The approach we do to our 3 years old daughter shall not be the same to our 13 years old daughter, kan? I sometimes wonder, do we have re-new our marriage certificate every n-th years just like we re-new our driving license? So that whenever we go to re-new it, we have to go for classes with related to rising up our children for betterment. And I know some of my SAHM friends; they always have time for this stuff. They go for many classes to facilitate themselves to be a better parent. One of my friends had actually set up a special corner for her 2 years old kid for his home school learning activity. Owh, I am so jealous -ing!  She is actually her child’s first teacher!

Numbers and newspaper reports are too much too handle. I believe best education comes from home

5)  Last but not lease, I would like to have more proper time for myself. When I send my kids to kelas mengaji, maybe I can go for own kelas mengaji too. When I send them to their horseback riding class, I can go for some kelas agama or tazkirah after Dhuha at the surau in my housing area, or anything with related to the ibadat for the day after. I realized now, at the time moment, I got too consumed with my daily activity (read: urusan duniawi), my urusan akhirat has not be taken into proper place. I don’t know when Allah will discontinue my life, but I really want to improve myself as a Muslimah and be prepared to face Him later.

There you go, the reason why I want to be a SAHM. Today's SAHMs are way better educated and confident group of people since Allah had given us the greater opportunities . Thus, let’s use it to produce better children for the future and for the Ummah, insyaAllah...

Hanie Adzman
p/s- Kakak and Iddin are going to their first toddler class this Saturday at the Tumble Tots, yay! I wonder if Kakak can use a new pair of jean since the class will include more physical training. I hope they will enjoy it as I am so excited for it!

Yup, defenietely it's about time for us to send her to school..=)


  1. Alhamdulillah, I believe Allah had planned for me to read this today whilst I am securing my decision to leave my job and become a SAHM. Yes, my career started 8 years ago and syukur, I have managed to climb the corporate ladder. Unfortunately, I work til late, cook once a month for hubby and lack in my Islamic knowledge. Rasa bersalah sebagai ibu, isteri dan Muslimah. Now I know there are others who have the same views! I too, like you, would like to be there for my daughter. She's 13 months old and I want to be a role model in her life and be there for her as I didn't spend much time with my mom when I was younger. Thank you for sharing. Assalamualaikum.

    1. That's great to hear, may Allah bless us always..=)

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  3. Salam Hanie, how's life being a SAHM? I am too a SAHM and I just came back to Malaysia so still figuring it out. I can't deny that sometime I have a void in my heart. But don't get me wrong I love my baby dearly