Monday, June 11, 2012

On the best me..

Something happened last week. I do not wish to brag the details but it knocked right into my head that; Question: have I been the best wife to my husband?
The idea of getting married is so much fun. You know, living with a man that I have entirely being in love with, plan the future ahead, from where do we settle down and what will be our first baby’s name.
Married, and life started. Real one. Problems start knocking on the door. From, how long are we going to live long distant to when are we going to have our own kids. Misunderstanding arises, and we start having different opinions to every matter.
(Yes, we start to forget our birth date, anniversary, no more surprise and presents)
Those who have children start to think about time constrain, financial shortage, where do we put our kids while we’re at work?
At time, we start to think if we have more money, then we shall have fewer problems. You know, we can have a maid at home; we can buy the easiest water bottle dispenser, that sort of thing.
Nope, with current salary, those seem impossible. We find part time/ side income job, we started to consume time that we should be spending with the families (read: husband).  We don’t cook, and we started to eat outside (until at time we don’t even know what and where to eat)
We face these, I face this too. Life is not perfect. We work to find solution to every problem.
Too consumed in finding solution, we forgot that the foundation to a marriage is a HUSBAND and a WIFE.
If one of these elements are not in the `picture’, then how do we proceed with what we had planned before? (You know our first boy’s name, which house are we buying)
Then we started wondering, have I been the best for him? After all these years, do I wear cloth that he likes to see me in? Do I wear enough make up to please him? I do cook, but does he really like it? Do I obey to every word he says?
I used to read one story back in Rasulullah SAW time, where there was a wife who didn’t visit his father’s body during his funeral because her husband told him not to ever leave the house as long as he went to a war; even though the whole family talked to her to come and visit but she insisted to stand by her husband’s order. So, his father was buried without her got to see him for the last time. And Alhamdulillah, one night, his father came into her dream and said that he is happy in the heaven because as Allah had grant him into the Heaven for he had taught her to be an obedient wife to a man. MasyaAllah.
Another story back into the time, a wife had just received news that her son had passed away. She was very sad for the boy is her favorite child. For her husband is not in the country, she took care of her son’s funeral. And when her husband came back, she didn’t mention anything about the son. She cook for her husband, entertain him and pleased him to his need. Not until her husband asked her, where is their son, then only she told him that their son had passed away. How could she hold her tears in front of her husband for she is grieving for her son’s death despite the fact that she was very very sad for her lost? MasyaAllah.
My Ibu, is the best role model a wife I can have. Ayah always says that Ibu will easily be granted to heaven for she is a best wife anyone could have. She is very obedient, she puts ayah in her top priority list, even Hazeman always says, follow ibu footsteps, she has portrays a perfect role as a wife and a mother. I learn to be redha to everything that happen in my life through ibu. It is very hard to hear ibu grumble over a matter, for she will always say, dah usaha,kan? Jadi redha je,ok? (Redha is a five letter word yang paling susah utk dibuat, seriously!)
After what happen last week, I started to do some check and balance within myself as a wife. I might do some drastic changes in order to make Hazeman feels that he is very important to me; that no one else is more important than he is, to me. If ibu can do it, why can’t I? I came from her genes, anyway, hehehe!

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