How did I end up pushing myself to the limits? (i.e. doing so many things at one time)

I got married to Hazeman in Mac 2010. Hazeman was posted to Sarawak General Hospital (SGH) which required me to travel back and forth, every forth weeks. Cheap Air Asia tickets could cost as low as RM 18 and the highest tickets will reach RM 800++.  Of course we planned our `visiting schedule’, but there were also times that I flew unplanned (i.e. Hazeman had his chicken pox etc). We don’t earn salaries of you know, big bucks; neither both of us came from very wealthy families. I ended up swiping credit cards to match this requirement. When Hazeman got to transfer back to KL, we realised we are stuck with credit card debts and they are more than you could imagine. Added to that are our monthly expenses and of course family’s expenses. Marriage comes with responsibilities to family, and mind you, it is not one, but to two families.

Yes, we do have lots of fun during our stay in Kuching. Sometimes I do wish that we are still there. And I missed Kuching big time..=(

Hazeman and I we are very much looking forward to have children soon, now that he has come to the end of his housemenship training, Alhamdulillah. I believe every parent would like to give the best to their children, and so do we. I am sure that most parents have had their children medically covered with insurance, and now you are looking forward for your children’s education fund and of course daily and monthly expenses; you know nursery of RM 250, pampers of RM 200, that sort of thing. Don’t forget the expenses that involved during delivery and post delivery. I am a planned person; I don’t like to face a situation unprepared. Indeed, every child comes with rezeki , which Allah has assured. But, those rezeki, I believe comes from hard work and changes for betterment (you know most married couples will start looking for side income job, do more part times, do more locums etc). Thus, being calculative and prepared person, I can’t see us to put up with extra expenses in this near future. Thus, we have to find solution.

Twins mean double in everything, yes I mean, every each of thing!

I am the eldest in my family. I am also the eldest grandchild in ayah’s side. Ayah had showed us the responsibilities as the eldest in the family. And I have determined to put up with that role too. Thus, I kept thinking that I must have a plan B for my siblings and cousins. My biggest fear is that anyone that related to me will not be able to survive in the future, financially. You know, like they can’t further their study, or they will not have opportunities to get a good job. I feel that it is my responsible to facilitate them in the future, if this happen. Hence, Hazeman decided that we must establish any sort of business as a starter. Apart from that, we take this as a challenge and we believe if we put our family as our first priorities, insyaAllah, we will have stronger bond as a family.

My father has the biggest influence in my life. Apart from a father, he is also a very good friend of mine. His thoughts really matter to me. 

I have my own target, to quit 8am-5pm work at the age of 30 years old. I would like to build and raise my own future family yet get to be working on flexible hours; which eventually leads to business. I want to be able to drive my children to their kelas mengaji, maybe to swimming and horse back-riding class. I want them to remember me be as the biggest influence while they are growing up, like I remember ibu and ayah while I was growing up. But, I can’t rely on Hazeman to work alone and feed our family. It is just unfair for he has been working so hard since we got married, and yes, definitely two heads are better than one (or maybe two pairs of hands are better than a pair, hehehe!). This fact also knocks my head when arwah mak fell sick. It was very hard for us to be at her side all the time since both Hazeman and I are working 8-5; five days a week, and yes we did feel horrible. At that point of time, I thought what if this happen to ibu, ayah, abah, my children, my siblings or any close family members, would I be able to take care of them if I keep working office hours? Or I would have to take unpaid leave to be there for them then my monthly expenses are not taken care of? That would give me another headache, I think.

I have met with so many people, some are very keen to take the first step for better life and some are “wait and see” people. Nevertheless, I keep my options open for I am only sharing this opportunities that I have now, with you.  Regardless whether you choose to continue to be in your comfy shoes or to take the risk while we’re young, I still very much will pray for the best in your future. =)

Hanie Adzman

p/s- It is 27th Mac 2012. Happy 2nd Anniversary, bi =)